The friendly girl at the Hertz car rental counter offered a free upgrade to a larger car after seeing looking at our baggage; I didn’t question the offer. What greeted me in the parking lot at spot #48 could best be described as a monstrosity. My mother broke out into uncontrollable laughter. “What is this? An Italian hearse?” She could barely get the words out.
In a completely deadpan and matter of fact manner I replied “no, it’s for transporting dead hookers”. Strangely, this brought on more laughter from my mother. It’s easy to see where I get my sense of humour from.
My brothers and I have a long history of pulling practical jokes on my mother. She’s been our loving target/victim for years. There’s been the rubber snake in the fridge; the desiccated crab dropped on her chest at the beach; the dead snake on the porch; and countless frogs, toads and worms over the years. The list goes on and on. This brings me to dead hookers.
Sometime not long ago I was out with friends for a triple MJ night. Not three Michael Jacksons (that’s scarier than Thriller), but Massimo, Mike, Mike and John. We were headed downtown when my mom called me at about 10:30. She was shocked that we were leaving the quiet confines of the suburbs at such a late hour…devils work!
“Who are you with?” she asked.
“Massimo, Mike, Mike and the dead hookers in the trunk” I replied.
“What?” She screamed in horror and disbelief.
“Well they weren’t dead when we put them in there, but the banging has stopped so we’re just assuming they’re dead.”
“John! What are you saying? You’ve gone crazy”.
“Come on mom, don’t be silly. I’m just messing with you. Besides, it’s only 10:30, it’s too early for dead hookers…maybe later on. I’ll call you tomorrow. Good night…I love you mom.”
And so it happened. In a parking lot at the Venice
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| Fiat Doblo - Just add dead hookers |
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