9/10/11 Emilia and Lidia: Tears of Joy

Our stay in Calabria was going to be a hectic one; in Locri, everyone is a “cousin” or at the very least a “paesana” (friend by virtue of being from the same place).  While not obligatory, my mother would have to visit as many people as possible to avoid the sin of the “brutta figura” (bad impression).  This meant that my father and I would have to join her in order to avoid making a similar bad impression.  The plan was to visit three families on my mom’s “most liked/essential” list and then let everything else fall into place.

And so we found ourselves visiting with Emilia and Lidia.  Emilia is my mother’s cousin, Lidia is Emilia’s daughter.  If you dropped me in the middle of a strange town anywhere in the world and placed Emilia nearby, I’d know she was a relative at first glance; her resemblance to her sister Cristina who lives in Canada is that strong.

An emotional hello for mom and Emilia

They were so happy to see each other, Emilia and my mom; I would have loved to have taken a picture but my family here doesn’t know me at all and are not familiar with my favourite photography subjects: pure emotion, often expressed through tears.  Pure emotion, it’s for that reason that I like taking pictures of crying children.  Initially my family thought it was cruel, but then they began to recognize the purity of the emotions and they started to enjoy the photos.  It’s gotten to the point that my sisters-in-law will ask me to get my camera if the children are crying.

The moment for Emilia and my mother was even more special since Emilia has entered the early stages of alzheimer’s disease.  When I introduced myself, she greeted me as “Palma”, one of her alter egos, which she sometimes does when meeting strangers,  But mom is no stranger to Emilia, her wide smile and close contact with mom was the stuff of recognition, comfort and care.

Lidia invited us back for lunch when the rest of her family would be there.  We accepted, but first mom wanted to go to Gerace, a small town in the hills, to visit another “cousin”…I would have to get used to this.

Lidia

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Update from mom: "Emilia, just like me, has two names although we never knew about it.  On her passport and birth certificate she goes by Palma; a name she has never used"