Wednesday, December 14, 2011

9/14/11 My Act of Terrorism

I must apologize to the residents of Locri and its surrounding towns.  Sincerely, I apologize.  But really, I’m powerless against this type of thing: lightly travelled twisty mountain roads.  They’re like drugs for me.  A short distance away from Lidia’s house and out of eyesight, I strapped a camera to the car, switched off the traction control and drove it like I stole it.  Which also meant that I would drive responsibly in populated areas so as not to attract the attention of either the residents or the polizia stradale.  But who was I kidding?  I had a camera mounted to the driver’s side window; my intentions were obvious to the blind.
The video evidence speaks for itself and causes me to wonder what the statute of limitations is on driving offences in Calabria.  Corner after corner, apex after apex, my grin grew steadily until it hurt.  I ran wide when it was safe using as much of the road as possible to maintain my speed; this road was truly my racetrack.  If this road was located in Canada, the fun police would be lurking around every corner trying to bust you.  Here, there was nobody.  Finally something positive comes out of the cesspool of the menefreghisti (“I don’t cares”).
My progress was halted briefly when I came across a road crew.  The excavator had its arm extended over the open lane of traffic.  I stopped to allow the operator to clear the way, but he kept working.  The signal man waved me through even though the excavator had not yet moved out of the way.  I continued to wait and the signal man waved me through again, and so I proceeded right under the excavators arm.  This was normal here, but I had displayed hesitation, which in your Italian driving test is cause for an automatic “fail”.  My parents would be ashamed of this poor grade; I vowed to make it up to them.


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